My oldest son, now ten, was given the gift of being raised the first six years of his young life with his dad by his side.  He was our first born and a boy to boot, so by the time he was running around and less dependent on me, they became the best of friends.  He was truly the kid that would do whatever his dad did, whenever he could.  His dad took him hunting, taught him to snowboard, fish, hike, camp, shoot, ride a horse, and the list goes on.  He was the ultimate homemade slip and slide builder, snow fort erector, and liked to make things go boom.  This was a man who often felt like another child but also loved his kids so much I knew he would never let them get hurt.  In six short years, Tony gave all of his loves and passions to his oldest boy.  And one of the first things that boy said to me when I told him his dad was gone, was “but he was my best friend.”

Four years later, we celebrate the fourth birthday of our youngest son. The son who had no time on this earth with his biological father, not one day, one hour, one minute…and yet there he is in him in these unbelievable ways.  The mannerisms his brother has which I thought were learned from his time with his dad, are strong in this little guy too!  And as I watch him grow and celebrate this stubborn, outgoing, preschool boy that has all the answers, I also celebrate the parts of him I had no idea could be inherited.  Yes, he got his dad’s dark brown eyes and his olive skin that never seems to be affected by overexposure to sun, but he also got these three things:

He is a LOUD talker!  This is a force to be reckoned with when you have a child who talks at a high volume no matter how close you are to each other.  I have two! I can’t tell you how often we use the phrase “stop shouting, I am right here.”  Tony was a loud talker too.  I chalked it up to his job in construction and love of loud music, but time is revealing it may be in his genes.  And apparently its a dominant trait…I mean two out of three. 

He is BOLD and FEARLESS!  I know a lot of boys are this way, but their dad had a certain propensity, an uncontrollable urge even, to risk life and limb on a regular basis.  This included once shattering (not just breaking) his thumb coming down wrong on a huge snowboarding trick.  My littlest has definitely taken up the torch on this, just the other day he gave himself a bloody nose doing a back flip on my bed.  Has he stopped jumping or flipping? I bet you can guess the answer to this is NO WAY!  If there is a height that can be jumped from, even if it might potentially splinter their tibia’s, he is willing to give it a try.  Biking or skateboarding is more fun with a steep hill, because if anything can be done faster…heck yes!  There will come a day when he and his brother will be saying the same things to their wives that Tony said to me…“if you’re not falling, you’re not trying hard enough.” “It will be fine, what are you worried about?” “let them have a little fun.” and of course…”Hold my beer.”

He is CONSTANTLY in MOTION!  Both my oldest and my youngest can hardly sit still to make it through the prayer portion of dinner time, let alone the entire meal.  And sitting while watching a TV show or movie is just ridiculous, I mean why just chill when you can stand on your head on the couch?!  If they are seated longer than 5 minutes I think they may actually explode…I’m not sure, I have only seen it done once or twice and it was dicey.  Their dad always needed a project and when he was between projects he was pushing the limits of extreme sports and entertainment regularly.  He was busy, his brothers are busy, their dad was busy.  The odds are looking pretty strong, this is a part of their genetic make up too.  My littlest is as busy as anyone could ever be.  He probably could have used a younger sibling, or maybe a twin to help occupy his time.  He’s not getting one so we will just hold on tight until school starts. 

At the four year mark of my involuntary nature vs. nurture experiment, I am here to tell you that mannerisms and voice volume can be inherited, no nurturing required!  And even when those things make me crazy, they give me a moment to say…you’re just like your dad. Missing watching him raise them doesn’t get any easier, but I am sure grateful I have them all and I know Tony would be proud of the dudes they are becoming. Awesome, reckless, righteous dudes!