This is a letter I wrote to my dear father-in-law the night before he passed away.  He and I have been unable to discuss important things without emotions taking over since Tony died.  The written word has always worked better for me, for us.  I never did get to share it with him, but I know he knows all of these things, especially now.  He will be very missed.  But I can just imagine Tony showing him around heaven!

Dear Lee,

I want you to know you are in my thoughts and prayers always. I want to thank you for being such a wonderful father-in-law over the last 16 years. It has been such a blessing to be a part of the Schmucker family. I am so grateful not only that you fathered Tony, but that you raised him into the man I loved so dearly and got to spend so many years with. Your blood in him is in these three wonderful boys I am so proud to mother. They are already such a reflection of him…each in their own way. He had a rambunctious, adventurous spirit like Ryder. A beautiful heart, like Rollie. And a smile and laugh that was contagious, like Leedan. They are walking precious memories of their dad, and of you…because you helped to make him who he was.

I am so grateful for all of your love and support over the years. Especially the house, our home. And all the years of tinkering and fixing you did in it. The trips we took together, the holidays we celebrated, and the camping fun. Surviving the loss of Tony was a difficult struggle, but you continued to check in and give us just the right amount of support and encouragement throughout the worst patches, even while dealing with your own struggle. It did not escape me that you and I had a very similar tragedy to our grief.

So many people know you as Dr. Schmucker. You were definitely Dr. Dad and Dr. Grandpa to us. We called anytime we just weren’t sure what we should be doing with all the sniffles, coughs, wheezes, and fevers. We so appreciated all of your willingness, availability, and medical advice. You were never too busy.

In the final year or two of Tony’s life he often begged you to slow down. He worried some about your health. Well maybe more than some. What a gift you were both given in his worry. He never missed a chance to spend time with you. He made a point to hunt close to you because he didn’t think he would have many more years to do that. He answered when you called and called when he wanted to say hi. He really loved his dad. I know you know that, but if he were here he would have told you a hundred times by now…so I figured one can’t hurt.

I have often wondered how you made it all work over the years. I now know, you had two great supports who helped you shoulder the workload burden and who have been by your side since you met them. God, and Elaine. What a wonderful example of how commitment and service can look. What a wonderful example of being happy within the life we are given. There are many ripples from the life of Dr. M. Lee Schmucker. And something I feel I have learned about death in this last year is that sometimes its not about the dying, the person, or the people around the person. Sometimes its the ripples. And maybe the ripples of the ripples. But there is purpose in it all.

“God is our refuge and our strength, an ever present help in trouble.” Psalm 46:1

This is the verse I have clung to for a long time now. Refuge. I love that because it means “a condition of being safe, or sheltered.” God is our safe place, even when it seems there are no safe places left.

Loving you and praying for all the best things.

Jill

May you rest in peace and enjoy the party.  We will share and love the memories of you, as long as we have breath and time.