Every now and then, God shows up just in time to keep me from being self centered. I get a reminder that this world is not meant for me to walk around expecting others to be what I want them to be. They are who they are. And usually, I have met them because of who they are. But then something strains the relationship, and I want them to do what I think is right. And sometimes I just don’t have all the information. And when I can just step back and love them, just love them, I find I don’t have any expectations. I want them to feel loved. I want them to know I will lovingly accept what it is they need. And it is not them I am changing…it is me. Because there is no failing when all you seek to do is show love. And so in the end, I feel I have accomplished what I wanted. Maybe I don’t get what I want, but I get to be who I want. And sometimes I think who we are is more important than what we have.

It is good that I have seen love work. It is good that I have seen love fail. It is good that I have seen love rescue even the most wrecked hearts. It is good that I have seen love not be able to reach a scarred soul. I have seen that love is not all powerful. It doesn’t make all things fine. It doesn’t make all things go away or all things appear.

Love is not magic, but it is magical to love.

It is magical because it erases all the bad feelings, even if just for a moment. And when we can stop the feelings of hate, and anger, and sadness, and fear, and loathing, and distress, and pain in our own bodies…we can live in a floating moment of heaven on earth. A moment, or an hour, or however long we can allow love to prevail. Because whether or not we are being loved, we are loving others. And the love we pour out is solid to us, it is known and it is sure. We do not question the love we give, because we know it to be our true selves. Its liberating.

I have realized I write a lot about love. It turns out, love is what has saved me. I have been given a new life, in a terrible way, and it is only by grace and the love from and for others that I have discovered a new way to live. Because in my darkest hours, I loved. I loved my babies, I loved my parents, I loved my memories, I loved. Even when I hated, I couldn’t look at my precious infant and not feel love. I loved enough to grieve. A gift.

So when the moment comes to judge something that feels infuriating. I challenge you to just love the people you are with. To smile, to open your heart. To choose love instead of judgement. To give up yourself, to let someone else feel valued. No strings attached. No expectations of return on your love investment. Just giving. Just loving.  I promise, it will be worth it.

Much love to all.