Today I say to you, stay in the sunshine whenever you can.

Focus on your own journey…see the curves, forks, and bumps of your own path. Don’t judge or dwell on the things in other peoples paths. Especially to avoid dealing with your own troubles, or even just living in them. See life as a road traveled with friends not against them. Share your love and your laughter. Hold hands through the tears and the pain. Be there. Be present. But be open to the faults we all share. We think, we feel, we lust, we hate, we want, we live, we fight, we give up, we know, we don’t know, we learn, we grow. Its all part of the challenge of living.

When we get hit with the hard stuff, it can be easy to begin to look for the faults in others. But be wary of stepping in the quick sand of judgement and bitterness. It pulls you in to condescension, cruelty, and even fear. Eventually you can find yourself lost in darkness.

Stay in the sunshine.

Occasionally my path gets dark. There are tunnels and caves and nights without the moon or stars. I wander, I fight, I give up. I cry tears of anger, sadness, and laughter. I wander some more. And sometimes I find someone feeling around in the dark with me. I want to learn to grab their hand and search for the sunshine together. Find the light at the end of that tunnel, the opening of the cave, the harvest moon rising. Why not? Why not see our common ground as a place to rise from? We can still cry, we can still struggle, but we will get to the light faster if we are moving in that direction.

My husband Tony laughed a lot, he smiled a lot and he made friends everywhere he went. He loved to get to know people and to share the road. I was the wife walking next to him often reserved and afraid to be judged, why, because I was judging. There is no true happiness there. He let time heal his wounds (most of the time, I mean, he wasn’t perfect). He frequently let people have second chances, and sometimes thirds. If I could be anything when I grow up…it would be more like that, more like him.

See each person in your path as a friend. A friend with their unique challenges and journey. But know you can only fix you…and that can be a very difficult task on a good day. Even so, don’t be afraid to share life. Truly sharing our lives means bearing our hearts and minds to one another. But it doesn’t guarantee understanding. And, frankly, being understood is really not the end goal…its being heard. Its hearing. I want to hear my friends and know what they are dealing with. And of course I want to help when I can, but I also want them to know I am always rooting for them. I want to be a friend who roots for you. Not judges you or fixes you. I root for you!  Always.